As a Christian counselor and family therapist, I can tell you definitely that actively listening and validation skills are two of the most powerful relationship skills anyone can have in their toolbox. And they're the fastest way to de-escalating conflict.
Maybe I shouldn’t be in this space (as I’m a wife), but this is my biggest hurdle in my marriage. I desperately need Christ’s strength DAILY to forgive my husband’s blindness in this area. 🙏
Although I am not married (divorced), I hope for a Kingdom marriage one day. Your advice is excellent for both men and women. God bless. Marriage is work itself and should reflect God's love for us. Melanie
I can’t argue with the insight and intent of this article but the men need to hear this additional admonition loud and clear: you can learn these “scripts” verbatim, say them flawlessly but you must yield in your hearts to the intention behind them. Pray earnestly for hearts of true empathy and understanding. Wanting to do so, however earnestly, without actually doing so is a great first step but not the only step to fulfilling your wife’s needs. The truth is our wives need our empathy and concern and our aim must be to do that in truth. The appearance of our caring may make her feel better; our actual caring will make her in fact better.
As a Christian counselor and family therapist, I can tell you definitely that actively listening and validation skills are two of the most powerful relationship skills anyone can have in their toolbox. And they're the fastest way to de-escalating conflict.
You hit the nail on the head.
Maybe I shouldn’t be in this space (as I’m a wife), but this is my biggest hurdle in my marriage. I desperately need Christ’s strength DAILY to forgive my husband’s blindness in this area. 🙏
Although I am not married (divorced), I hope for a Kingdom marriage one day. Your advice is excellent for both men and women. God bless. Marriage is work itself and should reflect God's love for us. Melanie
I like asking, “How can I help?”
I won't attempt to argue against what is good advice. Simple but can be hard to do on an ongoing basis.
I can’t argue with the insight and intent of this article but the men need to hear this additional admonition loud and clear: you can learn these “scripts” verbatim, say them flawlessly but you must yield in your hearts to the intention behind them. Pray earnestly for hearts of true empathy and understanding. Wanting to do so, however earnestly, without actually doing so is a great first step but not the only step to fulfilling your wife’s needs. The truth is our wives need our empathy and concern and our aim must be to do that in truth. The appearance of our caring may make her feel better; our actual caring will make her in fact better.